Raising Children with Shukr in a World of Entitlement | Lessons from Fitrah First Mothers
Every parent hopes their child will grow up grateful, not greedy; content, not constantly wanting more. Yet in today’s world—where ads, peers, and even social media whisper “you deserve more”—teaching shukr (gratitude) can feel like swimming against the current.
On Thursday, 02/10/2025, our Parenting Circle opened this heartfelt question for discussion:
“How can we raise children with shukr in a world that encourages entitlement?”
The reflections that followed were sincere, full of warmth, and grounded in both faith and lived experience.
Mothers’ Voices from the Parenting Circle
1. Gratitude Begins with Parents
Many mothers reminded that children learn shukr by watching us first.
One mother shared: “When my children hear me saying Alhamdulillah even for small things, they copy it naturally.” Another added: “If we complain often, our children learn that too. So I try to say, ‘Alhamdulillah, this is what Allah chose for us,’ even when things don’t go our way.”
In a world obsessed with more, these lessons turn hearts toward contentment—reminding children that true richness lies not in wealth, but in peace of the heart.
2. Teaching Shukr Through Daily Moments
Many mothers spoke about weaving gratitude into ordinary moments. “Encourage by saying Alhamdulillah a lot — for small things, for big things, for everything,” one wrote.
But gratitude is the seed from which contentment grows. It shapes the way a child views the world—not as a place of lack, but as a field of blessings.
Another shared a touching story: “My child didn’t get samosas and pomegranate from his cousins, so he went aside, made duʿa, and said ‘Ameen’. I was amazed — he turned to Allah instead of complaining.”
Even a small act like that shows the power of early guidance. When children learn to turn to Allah in moments of disappointment, they are developing spiritual resilience—thanking Allah not only for what they receive, but also for what they are spared.
3. Encouraging Service and Sharing
Some mothers beautifully linked gratitude with generosity. “When my kids share their snacks or toys with others, I remind them that Allah loves those who give,” wrote one participant. Another added: “Whenever we get sweets or fruits, I encourage my son to distribute them to others first. He does it happily.”
Another participant shared:
“I let them help me in chores and then thank them sincerely — this helps them value effort.” another participant added.
Another reminded: “He who does not thank people is not thankful to Allah.” (Sunan Abi Dawud 4811)
In these homes, shukr becomes an act of giving. It teaches children that blessings multiply when shared, and that gratitude naturally leads to kindness. Such moments nurture gratitude not only for things received but also for opportunities to give.
4. Teaching Gratitude Through Duʿa and Reflection
Several mothers beautifully linked shukr with duʿa.
One mother explained: “Whenever my child gets something he wanted, I make him say Alhamdulillah, then remind him — it’s Allah who gave it, not us.”
This gentle redirection turns gratitude into remembrance.
Another shared how she encourages reflection after answered prayers: “When something good happens, I ask my child, ‘Who made this possible?’ and she immediately says, ‘Allah!’”
5. Struggles in Practicing Shukr
Honesty was a recurring theme.
One mother admitted: “Sometimes I realize I am not showing gratitude myself. I get tired and forget to model it.” Yet, her words reflected hope: “When I pause and say Alhamdulillah, my children remind me again — it becomes a cycle of learning together.”
Even these struggles are acts of sincerity — reminders that gratitude is a journey, not perfection.
Fitrah First’s Reflections
1. Turning Comparison into Contentment
When children compare themselves with others, it’s a natural opportunity to teach perspective. Remind them gently: “What matters most is how we use what Allah has already given us.” Gratitude shifts focus from what is missing to what is meaningful.
2. Shukr in Times of Challenge
Gratitude isn’t only for happy days. The habit of saying “Alhamdulillah ʿala kulli ḥāl”—All praise be to Allah in every circumstance—helps children handle frustration and loss with dignity. Even a small fall can become a chance to say, “Allah protected me from something worse.”
3. Building Gratitude Through Duʿa
One mother’s story of her child turning to Allah instead of complaining reflects a deeper principle: gratitude and duʿa are connected. When children learn to make duʿa often, they also learn to thank often—because both begin from remembering Allah as the Giver of all good.
The Islamic Perspective
Gratitude as a Core of Faith
Allah ﷻ reminds us: “If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favor].” (Surah Ibrahim 14:7)
This ayah teaches parents that gratitude is not only manners — it’s a key to increase the barakah in life.
The Prophet ﷺ as the Example
Even though his life was marked with challenges, the Prophet ﷺ remained deeply thankful. When asked why he prayed long into the night despite his forgiven status, he said: “Should I not be a grateful servant?” (Sahih Bukhari 4836)
This shows that gratitude is not dependent on comfort, but on awareness of Allah’s mercy.
Teaching Children Thankfulness to People
The Prophet ﷺ said: “He who does not thank people, does not thank Allah.” (Abu Dawood 4811)
Parents can teach children to say JazakAllahu Khayran — nurturing both good manners and faith.
Gratitude in Daily Practice
Encouraging children to say Alhamdulillah after eating, SubhanAllah when seeing nature, or InshaAllah for future hopes anchors gratitude in their routine — transforming words into worship.
🧠 What Science and Psychology Say
1. Gratitude Boosts Emotional Health
A 2021 study in Frontiers in Psychology found that children who practised daily gratitude showed higher emotional regulation and lower anxiety. Regular reflection on blessings rewires the brain’s reward system, promoting long-term well-being.
2. Muslim Context Study — Gratitude and Faith
A 2023 study published in the Journal of Muslim Mental Health among Malaysian Muslim adolescents found that practising shukr and daily duʿa was linked to lower stress and higher life satisfaction. The researchers concluded that gratitude rooted in faith strengthens resilience and inner peace.
3. Parent Modelling Shapes the Brain
Child development research (University of California, 2020) shows that children’s gratitude mirrors parental tone and habit. When parents verbalize thankfulness aloud, mirror neurons in a child’s brain activate — making gratitude a learned emotional reflex, not a forced rule.
4. Gratitude as Psychological Protection
Psychologists from Harvard University (2019) found that children who maintained gratitude journals had better sleep quality and stronger empathy — two markers of emotional security. Such habits build immunity against entitlement and dissatisfaction.
🌷 Key Takeaways
🌿 Model gratitude daily — children learn best by watching you.
🌿 Use daily words of remembrance — Alhamdulillah, JazakAllah Khayr, SubhanAllah.
🌿 Turn comparisons into reflections — teach contentment over competition.
🌿 Link gratitude with giving — encourage kindness and sharing.
🌿 Guide children to duʿa — help them connect gratitude with Allah.
🌿 Teach thankfulness in hardship — Alhamdulillah ʿala kulli ḥāl builds resilience.
Conclusion
Raising children with gratitude is not about teaching polite words — it’s about shaping hearts that see Allah in every blessing.
When a child learns to say Alhamdulillah for both the toy that came and the one that didn’t, that’s not just manners — that’s iman in action.
May Allah fill our homes with shukr, protect us from entitlement, and make our children among Ash-Shakireen — the truly grateful. 🤍
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